By: Laura Bennett

Have you noticed within your social circles a deeper sense of weariness?

It may not be true for everyone, but anecdotally there seems to be an enduring sense of collective exhaustion: the trauma of 2020 is yet to clear, the cost of living is unsettling, and we just don’t feel like ourselves.

Lorraine Murphy is an award-winning entrepreneur, best-selling author of Remarkability, speaker and mum of two. She started her first business – The Remarkables Group – in 2012 before selling it in 2017 to focus on what she calls her “soul on fire work” of writing, speaking and mentoring.

According to Lorraine, the issue we could be coming up against is “resilience fatigue”.

“We can deal with the stuff coming our way, but after a while we just can’t bounce back as easily as we normally would,” Lorraine said. “The big thing to focus on, is how we can – in advance of anything happening – proactively build up those resilience reserves.”

Originally from Ireland, then migrating to Australia and now living in Spain, Lorraine has a knack for helping people draw out their best qualities and understand the unique ways we can apply them to life.

She spoke in our interview about the importance of proper rest, and refuelling our emotional and spiritual tanks.

“Resilience runs so low when we are tired,” she said. “It can feel quite counterintuitive, when you feel like you’re behind with your to do list, to say, ‘OK, let’s just rest’. But it’s impossible to keep going if we’re not getting enough rest, whether that’s sleep or just some down time.

“If we think about a car, it can’t go very far without any petrol or diesel in the tank, it needs fuel. So I think if we can start to think about ourselves as having those, those internal fuel tanks as well, it really helps to help us prioritize the looking after ourselves.

“That [includes] rest, sleep, exercise, getting some really nice food, focusing on having great relationships around us that are nurturing and fueling for ourselves, having time with people who really lift you up. It’s about having to be extra intentional.”

Accepting Life’s Winter Seasons

For those in a very low funk, experiencing some level of depression or feeling no motivation to even try, Lorraine suggests winding back our expectations, and accept that life has winter seasons.

“First of all, we need to drop our expectations when we’re in that position. If we’re exhausted, and just not feeling very engaged with anything we’re doing… there’s an element of just having to bunker down and accept where we are and just appreciating that this may be a slower, more transformative time in our lives. And just remembering that winter is just as transformative as any other season.”

Lorraine adds that we can begin to find our way back to ourselves by taking very small steps.

For herself, the first step in her own emotional low was to find a gym that suited her, and just start turning up. Slowly she began to engage with classes and it became a healthy habit that transformed her health.

“I would encourage everyone to think about it as [following] breadcrumb trails. What are the little breadcrumb trails that start to get you closer to who you are and what you love and what lights you up in life?

“If you want to tap back into that sense of joy and playfulness, go back and do the things that you love doing as a child.”